If SGA had been a text adventure computer game
by SGA4077
Summary: What if Stargate: Atlantis had been a text adventure computer game? This is the answer to it, assuming McKay is the character you play.


A/N: Many thanks to my beta Maryann! All remaining mistakes are mine.

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Dark Forest

You – genius, hero and physics mastermind, proudly wearing the Canadian flag – just woke up in a dark forest of an unknown planet. The last thing you remember is having a nap in a closet on the Daedalus, when a loud "BOOM" pulled you out of your dreams and green smoke sent you into other – far less pleasant – dreams.

So, what happened? You have no idea, but you are going to find out.

You are in a forest. Lots of trees. A path leads from north to south. Thick vegetation is blocking your path to the west. To the east are several thorn bushes.

look tree

A tree. Looks like every other tree you know.

>look forest

It reminds you of one of the wonderful forests near Vancouver. You are feeling homesick.

>look path

A path leads from north to south.

>look bushes

The thorn bushes look like they could tear your skin apart.

>inventory

You are carrying:

- a gun

- an extra magazine

- a box labelled MRE

- a first-aid kit

- a letter

- a ladder

>examine ladder

It's big, it's huge, it's heavy. You have no idea why you are carrying it.

>drop ladder

Dropped.

>examine box

It's a small box labelled MRE. Someone scribbled "citrus-free" on it. Great, food! The thought of it makes your mouth water.

>open box

It's empty.

>curse

Are you feeling better now?

>drop box

Dropped.

>examine gun

A gun. Holding it makes you feel strong. At least as long as you don't have to use it.

A Wraith is entering from the north.

>look wraith

The Wraith is wearing a stylish black leather coat. His face is pale and his eyes are ferocious. His long white hair is tousled from the wind. He has some tattoo on his face you can't recognize because he is still too far away.

>talk to wraith

"Hi, I'm Rodney. Who are you?"

"I'm a Wraith and lost in this forest. Can we be friends?"

…

Just kidding. The Wraith isn't in the mood to talk. Try something else.

>s

Even Darker Forest

A path leads to the north. Thick vegetation is blocking your path to the west and south. To the east is a swamp.

>examine swamp

Bubbles of marsh gas are bursting at the surface of the swamp. It smells strange.

A Wraith is entering from the north.

>run

You can run but you can't hide! Try something else.

>shoot

A loud "BANG" leaves your gun. You hear the sound of flapping wings, obviously birds hastily leaving the scene.

The Wraith is coming closer.

>shoot

Another "BANG". Nothing else happens.

The Wraith is coming closer.

>shoot wraith

The bullet hits the Wraith on his left leg. He nearly stumbles but he catches a branch to prevent his fall.

>shoot wraith

You hit him right in the chest! He stumbles and falls to the ground, but he doesn't die, of course.

>shoot wraith

You miss him by a hair's breadth!

The Wraith is getting up and coming closer.

>shoot wraith

Another hit in the chest! The Wraith stumbles again, but doesn't fall. The Wraith seems to be surprised by the accuracy of your shots. You are surprised by the accuracy of your shots.

>shoot wraith

You hit the chest, again! The Wraith is deeply wounded and very angry.

The Wraith is coming closer. You smell his breath. It's not a delightful smell.

>shoot wraith

You hit the chest, again. The Wraiths moans and falls to the ground. He is not moving but still alive.

>shoot wraith

CLICK! You run out of ammo.

>reload gun

What? I don't understand this command.

>put extra magazine in gun

While doing so you notice that there aren't any bullets in the extra magazine.

The Wraith is moaning.

>hit wraith

You beat the Wraith with your fists. It seems to have the same effect as a cardiac massage. The Wraith is becoming more vivid.

>hit wraith with gun

You decide that the skull is the most fragile part of a Wraith and hit at it with all your strength (which isn't much). Finally, the bones give way and you see slimy parts of a Wraith you never wanted to see. But at least the Wraith is dead. You scored 10 points.

>look

A path leads to the north. Thick vegetation is blocking your path to the west and south. To the east is a swamp.

A dead Wraith with a smashed skull is lying on the ground.

>examine wraith

The Wraith is carrying:

- a stylish black leather coat

>examine coat

You don't have it.

>take coat

Taken. You scored 5 points.

>examine coat

A bloodstained stylish black leather coat with several bullet holes. Wear this to the next physics convention and you'll be the centre of attraction.

You find a note in the coat.

>take note

Taken. You scored 5 points.

>examine note

It's written in Wraith language. Luckily, you are able to read Wraith language.

The note says:

"Important: Don't forget to check the vents regularly. Escaping humans may try to hide there. The last time it happened the decomposing corpse contaminated the air on the ship for weeks."

>n

Dark Forest

You are in a forest. Lots of trees. A path leads from north to south. Thick vegetation is blocking your path to the west. To the east are several thorn bushes.

A ladder is lying on the ground.

A box is lying on the ground.

>n

Somehow Brighter Forest

Some sun beams illuminate the forest. A path leads from north to south. The path to the north looks suspicious. Thick vegetation is blocking your path to the west. To the east are several thorn bushes.

>look path

It's a normal path to the south, but suspicious to the north. You can't say what's wrong with it, it's just feeling creepy.

>e

You try to get through the thorn bushes, but you give up after the thorns cut through your shirt and skin.

You are bleeding and your arms hurt like hell.

>examine first-aid kit

A standard first-aid kit provided by the US Air Force.

>open first-aid kit

It's empty.

>drop first-aid kit

Dropped.

>inventory

You are carrying:

- a gun (unloaded)

- an extra magazine (empty)

- a letter

- a stylish black leather coat

- a note

>examine letter

It's a handwritten letter. The writing is familiar, but you are not sure to whom it belongs.

The letter says:

"Dear Rodney,

I hope this is not an untimely moment, but I need to confess something. My medical studies were quite expensive and my debts are higher than the Empire State building. To get rid of my debts I'm selling expedition items on ebay and restocking them with the next delivery from Earth. If you are reading this letter it means I just took your items and hadn't the opportunity to restock them. I'm sorry!

With love,

J.K."

>curse

Are you feeling better now?

>n

Trap

After making the first step to the north the ground collapses and you fall into a deep hole. It's dark and wet and you are feeling a little claustrophobic. Maybe an ankle is strained, but this is the least of your problems.

>examine trap

The walls of the trap are high and slippery.

>climb walls

You can't! They are far too slippery. If you had only thought of bringing a ladder with you…

>wait

Time passes.

>wait

Time passes.

>wait

Bleeding and starving, you are experiencing an excruciating dying which lasts a long time.

*** GAME OVER ***

Your score is 20 points (out of 510 points). This score gives you the rank of minor quality Wraith fodder.

RESTART, RESTORE or QUIT?

>quit


End file.
